The Human Centipede 2 Full Sequence: Movie Review

I saw the original The Human Centipede and found it mildly enjoyable, mostly because of Deiter Laser's (best name ever for an actor) portrayal of Dr. Heiter. How fitting that the evil doctor's name sounds like "hater" in English! With that said, The Human Centipede is the type of movie you watch once just to say you've seen it, like Salo. The Human Centipede 2 is an exercise in movie masochism.

There were so many times that I wanted to fast forward through this movie. It was trying to build tension, but instead it built boredom. It started out halfway promising with a look into the twisted mind of the main character Martin and his obsession with the movie The Human Centipede. Director Tom Six did everything in his power to make Martin the most repulsive, repugnant, revolting (whatever other words that start with RE that allude to what a disgusting person he is)  human being on film. You could almost smell Martin. Thank goodness this was not filmed in smellovision.

Frankenhooker: Rewind Review

Let's just start with the name of this one. As a fourteen year-old with a newly minted affinity for B-movies, when I walked by this at the local mom and pop video store I had to rent it. Back then it was on VHS, and this was pre IMBd and Rotten Tomatoes scores, so one would go on the strength of the cover art and description on the back. Plus this wasn't a new release, so it was only $1 to rent anyway. (Take that Red Box!)

Basket Case: Rewind Review

 Midnight Movie Mayhem!

If you are new to my Rewind Reviews, they are just my responses to rewatching movies that I watched as a kid. Today I'm going to talk about a (writer/director) Frank Henenlotter classic, Basket Case. Henenlotter is also known for Brain Damage (1988) and Frankenhooker (1990). I've seen those as well. I saw Frankenhooker as a kid, and just saw Brain Damage a few months ago as an adult. But this review will focus solely on Basket Case.

When I first got into B-movies I was in middle school and watched the edited for TV versions of them on USA "Up All Night". Luckily for me they left a surprising amount of gore in there for TV (well basic cable). I think this is a great way for pre-teens and early teens to be introduced to horror. I wasn't introduced to it that way. I saw "Alien" (1979) at the drive-in in my footie pajamas and watched  John Carpenter's "The Thing"(1982) at the movies too when I was in 1st grade. When my uncle took us to see E.T. (1982), I spent half the movie watching thru my fingers waiting for E.T. to kill Elliot. My young mind had learned from "Alien" and "The Thing" that that's what aliens do, right? But for kids who haven't been practically birthed into horror this is a great introduction to it until they build a tolerance for the scarier fare.

American Horror Story: Review (So Far)

When I saw the trailer for American Horror Story a month ago it looked interesting, but since I haven't watched F/X since season 2 of Nip/Tuck I set my DVR to record it. Since then I sort of forgot about it until recently and I finally found some time today to watch the first 5 episodes.

My first reaction was excitement because there hasn't been a good supernatural weekly show on basic cable for years. I said good supernatural weekly show. Let's go through a list, so you know where I'm coming from.

Supernatural - Boring. I couldn't make it through a whole episode.
Vampire Diaries - I can't get with it. It's like the TV version of Twilight.
Teen Wolf - I'd like to pretend this never happened. (See also the above)
Being Human (U.S. version) - No Bueno. The vampire guy's face hurts my TV screen.
Fringe - It will never be The X Files. NEVER.

This is not to say that there are no good supernatural shows. There were a few that I have enjoyed for example:

Being Human (British version): This one wasn't great, but it is better than the U.S. version with the exception that I like the American actress who plays the ghost girl better that the British actress.

True Blood - I like it for lines like "I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name. F**k Sookie!" I even forgive them for that season with the Maenad that I didn't care about. Plus I've read the first four books, and book Sookie is so much more kick ass than TV Sookie. They have damn near Bella Swaned her something fierce.


Misfits - (Not sure if this should count since it doesn't even come on TV in the U.S.) Let me say this I would much prefer they give us a Channel 4 America instead of the BBC America station, because all BBC America plays is Top Gear 10 hours of the day and Dr. Who for another 10, then sprinkle in Ramsey's "yelling at people who cook" (I don't know the real name, but that's what it should be called), add a dash of Star Trek Next Gen, and finish it off with a few episodes of Being Human every now and again. If we had Channel 4 America I could have watched Misfits, Shameless, and I'm pretty sure Skins was on channel 4 as well. For the record, I'm still not sold on this new guy on Misfits, he's no Robert Sheehan.