Movie Review - Bully (2011)

I saw two movies this weekend, back to back. One was The Cabin in the Woods, and the other was Bully. Of the two Bully was the bigger horror movie, so I’m writing a review of that first. Going into the movie, I didn’t expect to have too much sympathy, because I am part of generation X. We were the last to come through pre- “cyber-bullying”. In my day (hold on while I go shake my cane at the kids on my lawn), bullying meant someone or a group of people were literally kicking your @$$ on a daily basis.

Does The Hunger Games Rip-off The Running Man or Battle Royal?

There has been a lot of talk about The Hunger Games recently. I have read the comparisons to Battle Royale, to The Running Man and even to Logan’s Run and Dangerous Game. I have read that The Hunger Games topped $15 million in advance ticket sales. Unfortunately, I even read some of the racist tweets from people who were angry that characters from the book that were described as having brown skin in the book, were actually played by people who fit that description in the movie. I promised in a tweet that I would watch The Running Man, Battle Royal, and The Hunger Games and see for myself if there are any similarities.

Devil Inside: Audio Movie Review

You asked for it! Here it is.

Lady Shasha, Bad Gyal Terri, and Honky Dave discuss "The Devil Inside" [Spoiler Alert!], Ghetto Movie Theaters, Beyonce's baby, the best and worst demon possession movies and Terri Crew's wrinkled head.
Warning: This podcast contains strong language.


This podcast has been brought to you by Freq Media Entertainment in association with i95 Entertainment.

American Horror Story Season Finale

When I first wrote about American Horror Story, I was not as enthusiastic as I am now. I got hooked around episode 6 and now I am a fan. I hope that the opening sequence becomes as popular and famous as the X-Files and Tales From the Darkside openings. I like the story structure that they use, in which they give the viewer more and more details about the house with each episode. I love the web interactivity that they created with their Family Portrait site that introduces the characters and gives clues about their story, their You're going to die in there site that let's you walk through the home in different time periods and learn more about what happened there, and the Google+ American Horror Story page in where people can discuss the show. So I was all geared up for the season finale.

SPOILER ALERT!


I decided to just write my thoughts and reactions as I was watching, so here they are:

Why is this in soft focus?
Oh it's ghost family time.
That is a hell of a ambush! I expected something to happen but I didn't expect Ben to get hanged, by Hayden, Patrick and who was the third person? Was it one of the cult girls who broke in the house wanting to recreate the murders?

I like this new family. Love the "Can you believe this b!t¢h?" look they shared when the realtor made that racist comment.
Gabriel just had to skateboard in the house. The twins are already effing with him.
Oh Constance, you really make this show!
Violet likes Gabe, and Tate saw them talking so he's getting all psycho.
The new couple just happens to want a baby now too?
If the ghosts in the house keep killing people in the house, won't it get wicked crowded in there eventually?

Hayden's reaction to getting her throat slashed, "Oh $h!t" was too funny.
Violet is pulling a Tate by showing up in Gabe's room uninvited.
The husband is sleep walking. Is it time to play with fire again? Rubberman! Is that Ben?
Gabe and Tate are....are talking? Struggling, and Violet saves Gabe from Tate. Yay Violet!
Oh Crap! (Jumps in seat, at the sight of Larry's wife still simmering, no literally you can see steam rising of her.) So that's who's making people burn their hands.

All the ghosts are on the loose. Where is the Infantata? Doesn't he get to come out and play?
This is kind of like Beetlejuice in that the ghosts are trying to get the living to leave the house, even though they have different motivations.
[ETA: upon second viewing I notice that Vivian disemboweled Ben. I didn't even notice that the 1st time. Am I that desensitized to gore? Yes, yes I am.]
That family got out of dodge fast.
They just showed the preview for "Devil Inside", and it's still freaky no matter how many times I see it.

At this rate, that house is going to be worth $100.00 US (which makes it worth even less since the exchange rate is kicking the dollar's @$$).
"In 1994 I set my step-dad on fire, I murdered 15 students at Westfield High, I killed the gay couple that lived here before you, and I raped your wife. I also stole the Lindbergh baby, shot JFK, Tupac and Biggie and co-piloted one of the planes that flew into the Twin Towers." -Tate (OK he only said the the first sentence.)

So, did they just forget about the other baby? Where did they get a Christmas tree?
Constance, that is definitely a grandmother's hairstyle. Well, lacefront wig really, but still. (Jessica Lange needs several awards for this monologue in the mirror. So far she is nominated for a Golden Globe.) I just realized that the baby boy she is going on about may be the antichrist.
Wow her fridge is 60 years old!
Look Gramma I killed the nanny! Tate 2.0? Nope, Micheal is the antichrist. He's definitely got a Damien thing going on.

That was a fun ride, but they still left so many questions unanswered. I have a feeling that this is the type of show that gets ridiculously good in season two, because season one took it's time to lay the groundwork and develop the characters so that you actually care what happens to them.

The Human Centipede 2 Full Sequence: Movie Review

I saw the original The Human Centipede and found it mildly enjoyable, mostly because of Deiter Laser's (best name ever for an actor) portrayal of Dr. Heiter. How fitting that the evil doctor's name sounds like "hater" in English! With that said, The Human Centipede is the type of movie you watch once just to say you've seen it, like Salo. The Human Centipede 2 is an exercise in movie masochism.

There were so many times that I wanted to fast forward through this movie. It was trying to build tension, but instead it built boredom. It started out halfway promising with a look into the twisted mind of the main character Martin and his obsession with the movie The Human Centipede. Director Tom Six did everything in his power to make Martin the most repulsive, repugnant, revolting (whatever other words that start with RE that allude to what a disgusting person he is)  human being on film. You could almost smell Martin. Thank goodness this was not filmed in smellovision.

Frankenhooker: Rewind Review

Let's just start with the name of this one. As a fourteen year-old with a newly minted affinity for B-movies, when I walked by this at the local mom and pop video store I had to rent it. Back then it was on VHS, and this was pre IMBd and Rotten Tomatoes scores, so one would go on the strength of the cover art and description on the back. Plus this wasn't a new release, so it was only $1 to rent anyway. (Take that Red Box!)

Basket Case: Rewind Review

 Midnight Movie Mayhem!

If you are new to my Rewind Reviews, they are just my responses to rewatching movies that I watched as a kid. Today I'm going to talk about a (writer/director) Frank Henenlotter classic, Basket Case. Henenlotter is also known for Brain Damage (1988) and Frankenhooker (1990). I've seen those as well. I saw Frankenhooker as a kid, and just saw Brain Damage a few months ago as an adult. But this review will focus solely on Basket Case.

When I first got into B-movies I was in middle school and watched the edited for TV versions of them on USA "Up All Night". Luckily for me they left a surprising amount of gore in there for TV (well basic cable). I think this is a great way for pre-teens and early teens to be introduced to horror. I wasn't introduced to it that way. I saw "Alien" (1979) at the drive-in in my footie pajamas and watched  John Carpenter's "The Thing"(1982) at the movies too when I was in 1st grade. When my uncle took us to see E.T. (1982), I spent half the movie watching thru my fingers waiting for E.T. to kill Elliot. My young mind had learned from "Alien" and "The Thing" that that's what aliens do, right? But for kids who haven't been practically birthed into horror this is a great introduction to it until they build a tolerance for the scarier fare.

American Horror Story: Review (So Far)

When I saw the trailer for American Horror Story a month ago it looked interesting, but since I haven't watched F/X since season 2 of Nip/Tuck I set my DVR to record it. Since then I sort of forgot about it until recently and I finally found some time today to watch the first 5 episodes.

My first reaction was excitement because there hasn't been a good supernatural weekly show on basic cable for years. I said good supernatural weekly show. Let's go through a list, so you know where I'm coming from.

Supernatural - Boring. I couldn't make it through a whole episode.
Vampire Diaries - I can't get with it. It's like the TV version of Twilight.
Teen Wolf - I'd like to pretend this never happened. (See also the above)
Being Human (U.S. version) - No Bueno. The vampire guy's face hurts my TV screen.
Fringe - It will never be The X Files. NEVER.

This is not to say that there are no good supernatural shows. There were a few that I have enjoyed for example:

Being Human (British version): This one wasn't great, but it is better than the U.S. version with the exception that I like the American actress who plays the ghost girl better that the British actress.

True Blood - I like it for lines like "I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name. F**k Sookie!" I even forgive them for that season with the Maenad that I didn't care about. Plus I've read the first four books, and book Sookie is so much more kick ass than TV Sookie. They have damn near Bella Swaned her something fierce.


Misfits - (Not sure if this should count since it doesn't even come on TV in the U.S.) Let me say this I would much prefer they give us a Channel 4 America instead of the BBC America station, because all BBC America plays is Top Gear 10 hours of the day and Dr. Who for another 10, then sprinkle in Ramsey's "yelling at people who cook" (I don't know the real name, but that's what it should be called), add a dash of Star Trek Next Gen, and finish it off with a few episodes of Being Human every now and again. If we had Channel 4 America I could have watched Misfits, Shameless, and I'm pretty sure Skins was on channel 4 as well. For the record, I'm still not sold on this new guy on Misfits, he's no Robert Sheehan.

Paranormal Activity 3: Movie Review

I'm writing this review, similarly to how I wrote the review for The Thing, as more a log of my reactions. If I could tweet from the theater without the rest of the audience wanting to kick my @$$, I would. My ADHD riddled mind works like Twitter anyway, so here are my thoughts about Paranormal Activity 3.

First I'm going to to do something new, and include my reactions to the previews.

Creepy clown dolls, me no likey. Is this a folk tale? It sounds familiar.
"The Woman in Black"
What is wrong with his thumbs? Nasty. Oh look another 60 year old actor with a 30 year old actress playing his wife. Dude is fighting wolves in the snow with broken bottles between his fingers.
"The Grey"
That was one of my favorite songs. Is this a Misfits ripoff?
"Chronicles"
Julian Sands! This looks pretty kickass. I really want to read the book, and see the original movie though.
"The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"
I'll pass.
"Young Adults"
Another preview! I thought it was fall. Creepy exorcism movie. Don't go near that lady! Oh Snap!
"Devil Inside"

...and now our feature presentation SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

The Thing (2011): Movie Review

Instead of writing a straight review, I'm going to write my reactions as I was having them during the movie. You've probably read enough reviews with paragraphs of some film industry reject pontificating about the quality of the movie. I don't care about the quality, just about the reaction I have as a viewer. So without further ado:

BTW, Spoiler Alert Spoiler Alert and in case you missed it Spoiler Alert!

So the Thing looks like a giant roach lobster.
Oh look practical effects! Cool! Oh it's been overlaid with CGI.
Oh, no don't let Henrick be the first victim.
When is this a-hole going to tell the crew what she knows.
Adam "I don't know what I saw", is an idiot.
Evil Event Horizon Dr. Edward has got to be The Thing.
You just know when the helicopter dudes come back ish just ain't right.
Lars is my favorite character.
"What are you an asshole?"
Paranoia, paranoia. Is Lars dead?
The Thing WILL snatch a hole in your chest, it WILL climb on you and meld with your face.
The Thing WILL cut the power to the outpost.
If you cut a tentacle arm spider in half, it WILL reassemble itself.
Did you see that lighting trick? Shout out to John Carpenter.
The Thing now looks like a double dangly head giant roach lobster.
A woman saved a man. That's what's up!
Parts of the spaceship looks like Tron, with Tetris in the middle and titanium mini blinds in the roof.
At this point my husband said, "It has gone right to stupidville".
Is it a coincidence that The Thing's face looks like a certain part of the female anatomy?
Why would you bring just one grenade?
....and boom goes the dynamite!
Lars!
The dog? Wait , that's no dog.
.....and now we know know why they were shooting at the dog at the beginning of John Carenter's The Thing.

This was a fun ride for me. JC's The Thing has a special place in my heart. The effects in that film still have yet to be topped even here.

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