American Horror Story Asylum "Welcome to Briarcliff"

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We open with horny Adam Levine and his horny wife, who apparently needs no foreplay just creepy surroundings. She is excited that the legendary "Bloodyface" was held there. They have a sex scene that seems more like a one night stand than a married couple. They do the silly horror movie, let's go see what that noise is stuff and end up getting his arm chewed off by something.

We cut to a gas station attendant in the 50's who is married to a pretty black woman. We see him get ridiculed by his white peers for this. They contrast the earlier sex scene with a more tender love scene with this newlywed couple. Alma goes to get something in the kitchen, and we next hear her screaming "help me". Kip grabs his gun and runs to help her, but everything lights up in the house and it looks like she has been abducted by aliens. 

Next we see a woman (Lana) entering the gates of the asylum. She is first approached by a microcephalic person who twirls and says, "Play with me." This makes me think back to the first season of AHS with the little girl with Down Syndrome in the season opener. I also wonder if they used a truly microcephalic person, and I wonder if they are exploiting her.  A quick google search reveals that she is not in fact a microcephalic and is played by actress Naomi Grossman. Lana goes to talk to Sister Jude, who is batshit crazy herself. A younger nun, who I will call Sister Nervous tells them that "Bloodyface" is being admitted. We see that Bloodyface is Kip. 

We see the asylum common room and the menagerie of crazy. One big guy decides to beat the brakes off of Kip/Bloody face. Kip gets thrown into solitary isolation. Grace befriends him and shares that she is in a similar position. Sister Jude does not like Dr. Arden (who is crazy), because patients under his charge keep disappearing, or dieing and their bodies are gone. He says they are cremated. 

We learn that Lana has a wife who is a pot smoking teacher, who is supportive and encouraging.

Sister Jude prays before she puts on red lingerie underneath her habit and cooks food. She has dinner with Father. The sister has the hots for the father, and we learn what sexy looks like at 60.

Sister Nervous is helping Dr. Crazy feed something in the forest. She bumps into Lana, and tells her they gotta get out of there.

Dr. tells Kip that he doesn't belong there, when there is so much to learn and sticks him in the neck with a needle.

We jump back to the present day to Leo and his horny wife trying to save him, and the scene cuts back to Sister Nervous and Lana in the same tunnel. Now we know why she is so nervous as an inmate throws crap on her face. No literally crap, as in his own excrement!

Cut back to Dr. Crazy strapping down Kip like in "A Clockwork Orange", as he has flashbacks to the alien abduction and probing he experienced.

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Lana gets attacked by something with big monstrous hands that look like the ones that ripped off Leo's arm.

Sister Jude is mad at Sister Nervous for some reason, I didn't catch but sister nervous expects her to beat her, and acts as if she kind of wants to be beaten, but Sister Jude doesn't beat her. Oh, I just realized why Sister Jude was mad at Sister Nervous, it's because Lana was caught in the hospital and she blames her for that.

Sister Jude locks up Lana and threatens her teacher wife with exposing her unless she signs Lana into the hospital. She folds like a dollar-dollar bill and signs her in. 

The Dr. is cleaning a room with scratches on the wall, and Sister Jude suspects something's up. 

Cut back to Leo and his wife. She is running down the hall and runs into a creature that looks like this:

So at this point we are to assume that this is the result of Dr. Crazy's experiments. 

Read Recap of Episode 2 "Tricks or Treats"