10 Movies That I'd Like to Watch Again, As An Adult

Writing about remakes the other day got me thinking about movies that I saw growing up. Many of them I didn't have a full understanding of what was happening in them. The examples I gave in that blog post were Dune and The Black Hole, but there are other movies that I only vaguely remember and would love to see again as an adult.

I grew up during a time period where VHS tapes, and Premium Cable Movie Channels were new. A time when parents would take their children to see midnight showings of R-rated movies and just tell them to cover their eyes during the racy scenes. We all just peeked through our fingers, and then promptly fell asleep 15-20 minutes into the movie anyway.

Remakes: Stop Pissing On My Childhood Memories

Question. Does this:


Look ANYTHING like this?


Okay, I'll give you another try.

Woman Cries After Seeing Insidious

This is what happens when people grow up thinking "Final Destination" & "I know What You Did Last Summer" are horror movies, think that vampires sparkle and go to high school even when they are over 300 years old (Can you say statutory rapist?), and get over exposed to watered down remakes (I'm looking at you Nightmare on Lame, ugh I mean Elm Street remake.)There are a bunch of reaction videos on Youtube starring people between the ages of 14 and 22 (I'm guessing based on appearance.) all saying that this was the scariest movie they ever saw. Maybe it is, or maybe they were tricked by the PG-13 rating into thinking that it wouldn't be that scary.

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things: Little Girl Plays With Dead Squirrel

This video has me asking so many questions. 1. Why is she outside in her drawers? 2. Why are her parents letting her play with a dead animal? 3. The dad's reaction is to grab a video camera and tell her to wave to family? 4. Doesn't she remind you of Tiny Toon Elmyra, "I'm going to hug you and love you and squeeze you forever!" (I just realized today, with the help of Wikipedia that Elmyra has the skull of a small animal in her bow. Fitting.)

Top 10: Fun Friday Night Fright Horror Movies

Last night Chiller played “Return of the Living Dead”, again! I’m not mad at them, because no matter how many times I see this movie, it never gets old. It’s fun horror. Fun Horror is a term I use to describe horror movies that aren’t particularly scary, but still enjoyable to watch. I’m talking about the kind of movies that are OK to watch alone, but really fun to watch with other people.  Some of these movies were not critical successes, and some weren’t even commercially successful, but still have a following. They usually are replayed on cable stations like AMC, TNT, Syfy, or Chiller.

Whenever these movies come on, people tweet like crazy! Twitter is like never being alone, so it’s kind of like watching a movie with the closest friends you’ve never met. I devised this list using the totally scientific method of level of mentions on twitter.

10. The People Under the Stairs

This is the most underrated Wes Craven movie. The writing is like a modern day fairy tale and the dialog is clever. I like the make-up on the boys in the basement.

9. Jeepers Creepers

According to IMDb the creature is named the Creeper, but everyone on Twitter affectionately calls him the Jeeper Creeper.

Scream 4: Movie Review

I put off writing this review, because I really have mixed feelings about the movie. It is really a weird feeling to not know whether you liked a movie or not. I know, you’re thinking, “How can you not know whether you liked the movie or not?” Well, as I thought about the movie just after watching it, I thought about the scenes that I liked, that made me laugh or made me jump, but I didn’t have the feeling of satisfaction that an enjoyable movie gives you.

Spoiler Alert!     Read at your own risk!      Spoiler Alert!      Read at your own risk!

Sucker Punch - Movie Review

I have read a few reviews panning this movie. They say it's a geek's dream and it's like a comic book, and an anime, and a video game, and a music video. So? What's wrong with that? I like comic books, anime, scifi, fantasy, video games, and music videos. Plus, I think a little kung fu makes everything better. You know what else? I'm a woman. This movie may not be for you, but it is definitely for girls and women like me. We're the type that would rather watch Kung Fu action movies like Chocolate (about an autistic girl, whose savant ability is to mimic any style of martial arts she sees) online than pay one red cent to see some Rom-com garbage. We are the the fan girls who wish there was a Blade IV coming out instead of more sparkle vamp bull$h!t. Do you see the correlation there? Kung Fu Vamp = Awesome :: Sparkle Vamp = Bull$h!t

   I saw this movie in IMAX and it was gorgeous. The digital effects were excellent. They were so well done, as I watched it I forgot that some of what I was watching was CG. The fight choreography was good, not the best but respectable, especially when you consider the level of difficulty involved in choreographing a fight scene between a live person and a CG character. I imagine in some scenes they created a CG Babydoll similar to the CG Neo used in certain parts of Matrix Revolutions. The background scenery, from a design standpoint was breathtaking. I really give the utmost respect to the visual artists who worked on this movie. I loved that there were Robot Samurai, a Robot Zombie Army, dragons, a badass Gundam like power suit, and a speeding train with fighting androids in it. I like the characters: Babydoll, SweetPea, Rocket, Blondie (I love the irony of this name!), and Amber. (See that makers of Insidious? Memorable names!)

Insidious: Movie Review

The trailer for Insidious had me hooked. I wasn't bothered that it was rated PG-13, because although rare there are some Horror movies that succeeded with that rating. The Ring (2002), The Sixth Sense (1999), and one of my favorites Poltergeist (1982) and actually rated PG are among the best! As a matter of fact, I'm still trying to figure out why Paranormal Activity was rated R, other than just to evade the stigma of being PG-13, though enjoyable enough, there was nothing worthy of an R rating in the movie.

That said, Insidious succeeds in being fun, scary, and getting the audience to scream. The influence of the team behind Paranormal Activity is heavily present along with the tense atmosphere that James Wan is known for. It includes some light comedic moments at just the right times to break the tension. There are parts of Insidious that pay homage to The Shining, and (bordering on straight-up remake/re-imaginning) Poltergeist. One criticism I have is that I can't remember any of the characters names. All the greats have you remembering the main characters names. Even though I can't remember the names, I still had fun.
(Read the spoiler filled part after the jump!)

26.5 Weirdest Movies I've Ever Watched

I was corrupted by weird cinema at a very young age, thanks to mom & pop video stores within bicycling distance to my house (RIP Video America and Magic Video), their non-carding Randall like clerks, and their 5 movies for $5 deals. Most of the movies on this list I haven't seen in years, and some are pretty new. Thanks to kind people uploading full length features onto Youtube, a whole new generation of kids can be warped and damaged by these movies. (Not all of the movies on this list are on YouTube but about 80% are on there.) All aboard! The train of my thoughts... 


26.5 Runaway (2010) Director Kanye West

This only gets a .5 because it's a short film. In an earlier blog post I compared Kanye's efforts to Stanley Kubrick and Lars Von Trier. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Plot: A man falls in love with a bird lady who has fallen to earth.
What it's really about: Kanye's ego.

Notable Quote: "Your date is beautiful. Do you know she's a bird?"

                          "No. I hadn't noticed."

Most WTF Moment: The dinner party scene.

26. Rawhead Rex (1986) Director George Pavlou, Writer Clive Barker

Plot: Ireland will never be the same after Rawhead Rex, a particularly nasty demon, is released from his underground prison by an unwitting farmer.
What it's really about:  How the sins of your past catch up to you.

Notable Quote: "He was here before Christ, before civilisation. He was king here!"

                           "Rawhead, that's what they called him! RAWHEAD!"

Most WTF Moment: Little boy in the car scene.

25. Jacob's Ladder (1990) Director Adriane Lyne, Writer Bruce Joel Rubin

Plot: A traumatized Vietnam war veteran finds out that his post-war life isn't what he believes it to be when he's attacked by horned creatures in the subway and his dead son comes to visit him.
What it's really about:  Fear of the afterlife.

Notable quote: "According to this, you're already dead."

Most WTF Moment: Jezebels dance with a demon to "Lady Marmalade".

24. Silent Hill (2006) Director: Christophe Gans, Writer: Roger Avary

Plot: A woman goes in search for her daughter, within the confines of a strange, desolate town called Silent Hill. 
What it's really about:  Different concepts of hell.

Notable Quote: "What the fuck? What the fuck? You saw that right? That was real? What the fuck is going on?"

Most WTF Moment: The Nurses.

23. The Brother from Another Planet (1986) Written & directed by John Sayles

Plot: A mute alien is chased by outer-space bounty hunters through the streets of Harlem in this thought-provoking cult classic.
What it's really about:  Immigration

Notable Quote: "Funny-lookin' motherfucker, but he can shoot, can't he?"

Most WTF Moment: when they reveal his feet.

22. Donnie Darko (2001) Written & Directed by Richard Kelly

Plot: A troubled teenager is plagued by visions of a large bunny rabbit that manipulates him to commit a series of crimes, after narrowly escaping a bizarre accident.
What it's really about:  Premonitions and Judgement Day

Notable Quote: [shouts] "First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have... reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It's just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?"

Most WTF Moment: The end of the movie 

21. El laberinto del fauno AKA Pan's Labyrinth (2006) Written & Directed by Guillermo del Toro

Plot: In the fascist Spain of 1944, the bookish young stepdaughter of a sadistic army officer escapes into an eerie but captivating fantasy world.
What it's really about:  Choosing to do what is right, even when what is wrong seems to bear more rewards.

Notable Quotes: "Me? I've had so many names. Old names that only the wind and the trees can pronounce. I am the mountain, the forest and the earth. I am... I am a faun. Your most humble servant, Your Highness."

Most WTF moment: Vidal sewing his own face up. Yeah I know, there are fantasy creatures and the monster at the feast table, but I was prepared for that from the trailer. 

20. Freaks (1932) Directer Todd Browning, Writer: Clarence Aaron 'Tod' Robbins 

The real Freaks Trailer is not embeddable, but here is a tribute trailer:

Plot: A circus' beautiful trapeze artist agrees to marry the leader of side-show performers, but his deformed friends discover she is only marrying him for his inheritance.
What it's really about:  Who is the real freak, the person with the deformed body or the one with the deformed mind?

Quotes: [chant] "Gooble gobble, gooble- gobble. We accept her! One of us!"

           [screams] "I'm not one of you! You...You FREAKS!"

Most WTF Moment: The Living Torso lighting and smoking a cigarette.

It gets weirder after the jump! (also NSFW: strong language)

Kanye West Runaway

I just watched Runaway on Youtube. Kanye blurs the lines between avant garde creative genius and bat shit crazy. Looks like he has been watching too many Lars Von Trier and Stanley Kubrick films, because many parts of this video look like Von Trier's Antichrist meets Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange. For some reason this mini movie reminds me of Tommy and Jesus Christ Superstar as well. I think that's a good thing.  I really liked the ballet part. It was really foul how they put that turkey in front of the bird woman. See what I did there? At the 28:22 mark it really started to test the limits of my ADHD, but I made it to the end. Directed by Kanye West, Written by Hype Williams, and costume design by Phillip Lim and Marten Izquierdo.

© 2010 H.B. Walker All Rights Reserved