Sunday, October 28, 2012

Paranormal Activity 4: Movie Review

http://www.paranormalactivity-4.com
This Fall has been pretty good to horror movie fans because of the number of releases that came out. Resident Evil: Retribution, The House At The End Of The Street, The Possession, Smiley, V/H/S, Sinister, Paranormal Activity 4, and Silent Hill Revelation have all come out in the last two months. I finally got around to watching Paranormal Activity 4. 

Let me just tell you that I am a PA fan. The first movie f*¢ked up my life for a week, mostly because of the similarities between my home and the one in the movie (my bed faces the same direction in the bedroom as theirs with door on the left side of the bed, I have a similar chandelier, and a large arched doorway to the living room). I liked PA2 even though I thought  the family was unlikeable. I even liked PA3 with all it's little nods to Poltergeist. The trailer for PA4 had me with the Xbox Kinect  and the ADT alarm saying "Front door open" (Ask me how I know it's ADT.) My point is that I went in feeling pretty positive about this sequel. What follows are my spoiler filled thoughts as I had them during the movie.


[Spoiler Alert!]

The main character, Alex is unlikeable and spoiled acting. She gets pissy because the 9 year old from across the street is in her playhouse. Why the hell does she care about a playhouse at 15? At that age people are already using the playhouse for sneaking wine coolers with their friends. Then she gives her mom guff for taking in a child whose mother is in the hospital, because he is weird! Her boyfriend is not much better. He has zero game, and it is never explained why the hell he is recording everything. For example, why the hell would they be holding a phone recording what they are watching on the computer screen? At this point this should not have been made as a found footage film.


As they set up the laptops and Xbox Kinect I was looking at the interior layout of the house, and wondering if this movie series will diminish or propel sales of two floor McMansions with semi open floor plans. As she is sitting in her room doing the typical horror movie "Hello? Is there anybody out there?" I am thinking to myself, I wish I had a rich kid room when I was a teen. She has a walk in closet and her own bathroom? Lucky! 

Apparently Toby is back and now he lives in the closet of her little brother's room. She hears thumps and then finds toys lined up in a trail to that closet. As you saw in the commercial a million times the chandelier almost falls on her. Shout out to The Shining with the big wheel scene.

When she looks up the symbol and reads about how the demon can get into a new body, I was thinking "ade due dembellah!" (Bonus points for the 1st person to put what movie that is from in the comments).

We get to mom cooking and the knife goes in the air, and WTF is up with the editing? What happened to the knife? 

"F*¢king prius" , LMAO

When the dad wakes up on the couch, I immediately wondered when and how is he gonna die. The dad or husband always gets killed in PA movies. Then the knife falls several inches from his face. (How long was that knife suspended, a couple days?) He tries to tell his wife but she's not listening. She shuts the kitchen light off and goes upstairs. Who walks around the house in the dark? 

Watching movies on the Mac while taking bubble baths. I want to be a rich kid when I grow up. 

Who doesn't wake up when they get their blanket snatched?

When she says, "I hate this f*¢king house." I want to smack her.

What happened to the BF after she went into the garage? She was talking to him on Skype or something. Secondly when she almost got killed in the garage, why didn't she just show her family the video? Why are they not reviewing these videos?

The mom just got mollywhoped by Toby. 

BF comes in. 1. Who let him in? 2. Why is he helping himself to what's in the fridge? Who didn't see Katie snapping dude's neck a mile a away? 

When she runs through the other house it looks kind of like REC without the awesome. She sees a witch like creature and books out the door, then finds Wyatt and then we see a bunch of witches and the movie stops. I say stops because it doesn't end it just stops. 

The movie reveals that Alex's little brother Wyatt was adopted and really is Hunter. In PA2 the movie ends with Katie taking Hunter. So how could he be adopted by this family, and who the hell is Robbie then?

This movie thinks we are idiots and I'm not here for that. This Paranormal Activity is the Nightmare on Elm Street 6: Freddy's Dead, the Friday the 13th VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, the Poltergeist 3: Carol Anne in the windy city, and the Halloween 3: Let's forget all that Michael Myers stuff and give kids toxic masks to kids to the PA series. Of the scary movies that came out in these last few weeks, this is the least scary of them all. Wait until they play it on Chiller or Fear Fest on AMC.




3 comments:

  1. Good review. I didn't love it like I loved the others, but I definitely had an alright time. I still feel like they need to up the ante on the next one if they really want to hit it out of the park again.

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  2. Hey Dan O. good to hear from you again! I agree, maybe they should do a prequel that is not a found footage, but is about how and why the grandmother initially joined the coven and made a deal with Toby. They could give it a Rosemary's Baby meets Suspiria type feel.

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