Most Likely to Die (2015) | Slaughter High (1986) | Horror Movie Review

The House on Pine Street (2015) | Lake Eerie (2016) | Horror Movie Reviews

The Conjuring 2 (2016) | SPOILER FILLED Horror Movie Review

Valek nun painting replicas are available at Berkana Haus

The Conjuring (2013)| The Conjuring 2 (2016) | Horror Movie Review

Bite (2016) | Horror Movie Review

X-Men Apocalypse (2016) | Movie Review

I love Wakanda shirt by Berkana Haus

Gallowwalkers (2012) | BoneTomahawk (2015) | Horror Movie Review

The Toxic Avenger (1984) | Gutterballs (2008) | Horror Movie Review

Martyrs (2008) | Martyrs (2015) | Horror Movie Review (Rant)

As the 2015 remake starts I notice that it's by Blumhouse and so I know it's going to not just be low budget, but straight up cheap.

Then when the movie opens with the little girl running, it's just as I predicted all the impact of that little girl running has been removed. That stunning image has been ruined! This is what the girl in the opening scene of the 2008 version:

Opening scene from Martyrs (2008)

They took the compelling image you see here and reduced it to this:

Over the past few months I've been getting into some great projects. whatdidijustwatch.com is up.  I am still loading more movie reviews and working on the formatting. You can book mark it now if you like, but when I've finished, there will be a redirect from here to the new site. Feel free to tweet me and let me know what you think of the new site. I'll have reviews posted there soon for The Taking of Deborah Logan, The Den, Dead Snow: Red vs Dead and more than I have time to list. 

I am launching a What Did I Just Watch? movie review series on Friday February 13th, 2015 on YouTube. I will be reviewing older horror movies, new horror movies, B horror, extreme horror, foreign horror, indie horror, sci-fi, and thrillers too. The week prior I may release some sneak preview videos. If you are following me on Twitter, G+ or Facebook you'll be the first to know when they publish.

I have also been doing my costuming thing. Here are some examples of what I do when I'm not watching horror movies or writing about them. I have been making horror, sci-fi and fantasy inspired costumes.

Many of the people who order costumes from me wear them to Comicon, Megacon, Spooky Empire and other conventions. I was asked to make something for a superhero themed section of a fashion show, and I chose Babydoll, Alice, and Daenarys "Khaleesi" Targaryn inspired looks.

Now I am working on the victorian nightgown the Bathsheba witch character wore in The Conjuring.

This is the preliminary draping. You'll have to wait until convention time to see the finished product. 

If you are interested in a custom made costume, feel free to contact me at:
info@berkanahaus.com
 (Please allow 24 hours for a response.)

American Horror Story Asylum "Tricks or Treats"

Instead of just writing a play by play recap, this week I just recorded my random thoughts as I watched the show. Like to read 'em, here they go!

Show opens where it left off with this dude chasing horny Leo's horny wife. She locks herself in a cell. We cut to Lana's wife talking to her friends about recanting. She gets killed by the creature.

Who says "Ups my game" in 1964?

They bring in a guy who is possessed and do an excorcism and we learn that sister Jude used to be a floozy when she was in her 50's. (Okay, we learn that it was about 15 years earlier, but they chose not to have a younger actress play the younger Sister June.) We also learn that the psychiatrist may have been adopted. 

They have an exorcism and then the demon jumps into Sister Nervous and she is not nervous anymore.

Dr. Crazy has a fetish for nuns. He hires a prostitute to have dinner with and wear a nuns habit. She finds some photos of women in bondage, some of them with no heads which freaks her out and she escapes. 

Kip tries to escape with Grace and Lana, but Lana blows the whistle because she doesn't want Kip to escape and she has a bit of a crush on Grace, in my opinion.

I'm starting to get into this now, just like last year. I was very meh about the first episode, and then "that's interesting", about the second episode, and then the third episode is was hooked me. I think that this year will be like that too.

Go back and read the Episode 1 Recap: "Welcome to BriarCliff

American Horror Story Asylum "Welcome to Briarcliff"

Image courtesy of http://www.tv.com/news/american-horror-story-asylum-premiere-review-butt-seriously-folks-photo-recap-29860/

We open with horny Adam Levine and his horny wife, who apparently needs no foreplay just creepy surroundings. She is excited that the legendary "Bloodyface" was held there. They have a sex scene that seems more like a one night stand than a married couple. They do the silly horror movie, let's go see what that noise is stuff and end up getting his arm chewed off by something.

We cut to a gas station attendant in the 50's who is married to a pretty black woman. We see him get ridiculed by his white peers for this. They contrast the earlier sex scene with a more tender love scene with this newlywed couple. Alma goes to get something in the kitchen, and we next hear her screaming "help me". Kip grabs his gun and runs to help her, but everything lights up in the house and it looks like she has been abducted by aliens. 

Special Halloween Vlog

I haven't had the chance to vlog in a while. I started out reviewing reality shows (because I love them), but due to my schedule I can't keep up with that in a timely manner. I mean, who wants to hear me talk about what happened on a show a full week after it happened? So this is what I am about to do, rather than make individual vlogs about specific shows, I am just going to talk about whatever I was able to watch during the week (including movies and Internet videos) and upload on Mondays.

Read My Review of Paranormal Activity 4

Read My Review of Sinister

Read My Review of V/H/S

Paranormal Activity 4: Movie Review

http://www.paranormalactivity-4.com

This Fall has been pretty good to horror movie fans because of the number of releases that came out. Resident Evil: Retribution, The House At The End Of The Street, The Possession, Smiley, V/H/S, Sinister, Paranormal Activity 4, and Silent Hill Revelation have all come out in the last two months. I finally got around to watching Paranormal Activity 4. 

Let me just tell you that I am a PA fan. The first movie f*¢ked up my life for a week, mostly because of the similarities between my home and the one in the movie (my bed faces the same direction in the bedroom as theirs with door on the left side of the bed, I have a similar chandelier, and a large arched doorway to the living room). I liked PA2 even though I thought  the family was unlikeable. I even liked PA3 with all it's little nods to Poltergeist. The trailer for PA4 had me with the Xbox Kinect  and the ADT alarm saying "Front door open" (Ask me how I know it's ADT.) My point is that I went in feeling pretty positive about this sequel. What follows are my spoiler filled thoughts as I had them during the movie.

Carrie 2013 Remake: Color Me Not Impressed

Courtesy of http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1939659/

Take a look at the official teaser trailer for the upcoming remake of Carrie.

Let me start by saying, that I am not against a remake of Carrie, just don't say that it will be more faithful to the book when it clearly isn't. My rule of thumb for remakes is that they have to improve upon the original or take a different approach entirely, otherwise they are pointless. For example the American version of The Grudge was pointless, because it did not improve upon Ju-On, nor tell the story differently in any substantial way. Whereas the American version of Let Me In (also starring Chloë Grace Moritz), really did take the Swedish Let The Right One In and give it a different spin, although it left out a very important detail about one main character that the Swedish version left in. Maybe they thought that it might blow our puny little American minds. This looks to be more the former, than the latter.

First Image from The Evil Dead Remake (2013)

Picture courtesy of http://www.bleedingcool.com/2012/10/13/first-image-from-new-evil-dead/

Check out this deadite! She definitely looks more sinister than the ghouls in the original. I usually do not look forward to many remakes, but I am very positive about this one. While Evil Dead is a cult classic, it was far from a masterpiece. There are a ton of other genre movies that could be improved upon. I am against remakes of movies that where awesome like the 1998 Psycho remake, or the announced Poltergeist remake. They failed to improve upon Psycho, and I have a hard time seeing how they could improve upon Poltergeist. Now if they want to remake Poltergeist III, I say go for it! How cool would it be if remaking sequels became a thing. Nightmare on Elm Street 2 anyone?

American Horror Story: Asylum (1st 5 minutes!)

The day before yesterday I watched the 1st fives minutes of American Horror Story: Asylum (Sorry kiddos, embedding has been denied). It was posted in the American Horror Story Circle on Google+. I am a fan of the first season of AHS and of their interactive marketing. Remember their companion sites http://www.youregoingtodieinthere.com, and the family portrait site?

My hopes are high that they can deliver a season two that is as good as season one. I wish they were still up on their interactivity. Have you seen their American Horror Story House Call site? Apparently last year you could set yourself or your friends up to get a house call from an American Horror Story character, scare tactics style. I haven't seen too much interactivity this year aside from some video shorts on their Facebook page, and of course their Google+ circle. Anyway, I look forward to Wednesday night's premiere.

                                     

Sinister: Movie Review

Image courtesy of http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1922777/

I recently wrote in an earlier post that "When just the trailer freaks you out, there is a good probability that the movie can too. It's from the creators of Insidious, a movie that wrecked my life for a week. I mean, I seriously had to sleep with the cartoon network on every night for a week. I have to see this with a crowd!" Boy did I overestimate this. I am not saying that it was a bad movie, it was far from it but scariest of the year? No. This is the second movie to have made that claim. The promotional material for V/H/S which I reviewed last week made the same claim. 

That preview looks awesome doesn't it? I really thought that this movie was going to be super scary. It had atmosphere, and it built up a lot of tension, but it wasn't truly scary. It had some imagery that would be considered scary if it had not been shown to us in the commercials 50leven times. This is a case of all the scary scenes being shown to the audience in the previews. This movie's trailer basically spoiled the movie for the audience. It is just not fun knowing what every fright scene is going to be because you've already seen it in the commercial or trailer. Bad. Bad advertising/marketing and or promotional department. Now, go sit in time out and think about what you have done.

V/H/S: Movie Review

First off this was not the scariest movie of the year. Not even close. I would say that it was the most convoluted but I watched Detention a few days before seeing this. I do like that this was an anthology. Some of my favorites from childhood were anthologies (Creepshow, Twilight Zone: The Movie, Tales From The Darkside: The Movie etc.) This movie has 6 stories, but only 3 of them are good. Story 2 with the dude bros at the motel. story 5 with the girl and guy on video chat, and story 6 with the guys looking for the Halloween party. If stories 3, and 4 would have been edited out of this movie it would have been an improvement. 

The main story that functions as the backdrop and segway between stories is engaging enough, but the movie really gets cracking during the second story with 3 college fairly unlikeable college guys getting in over their head in a motel room. It then almost screeched to a halt with story 3, which is about the most boring couple in the world running into trouble on the road. Story 4 is only marginally better than story 3, but not by much. The movie picks back up with story 5, which has a twist ending that I didn't see coming. Then it has a strong finish with story 6 that will have you on the edge of your seat. That's about all I can say about this movie without spoiling it. If you want to read on be prepared to be spoiled.

In case you missed it - SPOILER ALERT!

Trailer Talk: Most and Least Anticipated Horror Movies

If you know me, then you know that October is one of my favorite months! Most of the TV networks, and cable channels start showing horror movies, and many film companies release their horror movies during the month of October. Some movies I can't wait to see in the theater, others I would watch on TV at home on a Friday night with some popcorn, and others I'd only watch if there was nothing else on. I have made a list of my most, in-between, and least anticipated horror movies based off of their trailers alone. I have created my own rating system that rates the movies: Netflix, $Dollar theater, Matinee, and Opening Night.

Let's start with the movies that look just aight.

First of all, can we stop with this filter? I mean it was cool when Rob Zombie used it for "The Devils Rejects", but it's getting really played out. I'm getting a "Wolf Creek" vibe from this movie. I remember how the trailer for WC claimed that it was so brutal, and scary. Then I went to see it and was so let down. It was slow, boring, and they barely showed any gore. Not that I need to see gore for a movie to be good, but I feel that if a horror movie isn't scary or suspenseful, then at least make up for that with some decent gore.
$Dollar Theater